Sunday, March 18, 2012

Back to the boat...

You know it's just about time to head back to the boat when...
  • You realize that you haven't blogged about anything in months and it's time to start up again.
  • The page long lists of things to do reappear
  • The amazon orders start rolling in of all the things you should have purchased earlier in your trip and are now hoping everything shows up in time and that you don't forget anything.
  • There are piles and piles of all the stuff you'd like to take back with you and have to come to accept that not everything can go.
  • The massive duffel bags are out accompanied by the luggage scale with hopes that everything will fit and within the 50lb limit (we pretty much always need extra bags and take the extra baggage fees into account when purchasing our tickets).
  • You start to feel a little sad about leaving your friends and family again but excitement of the unseen keeps you moving.
I'm always sad to go. When I left my family for the first time for college over 12 years ago I cried horribly each time I left but over the years as I've moved from city to city (and now country to country) the tears have gotten less and somehow easier. I guess it was always knowing that I'd be back and once I grasped that, it wasn't as big of a deal to go. But this time seems to be different. I'm back to my old 18 year old self crying a bit more often than usual. I guess it's because this time is different, this time I'm taking my son with me, this time I'm taking my son away from HIS family not just mine. We lived far from my grandparents and cousins when I was a kid and I always wished I had lived closer to them. This time I feel the pain of my mother not seeing her grandchild grow each day and him not getting her hugs (and I'll have to admit that I'll miss all the help she's given me over the last 7 weeks too!) This time I'm leaving MY nephew and getting to see him grow and I've gotten a taste of having my family close by which I really haven't had since I left 12 years ago. There are probably somethings I should have done and taken advantage of over the last several months that I've been home but now I'm glad that I didn't because any additional reconnection with land would just be making this harder. But for everything I feel I'm missing out on land there are a dozen things that we're experiencing because of life at sea and that is why we choose to do this and that is why I'm taking my son so far away to live what some might call a crazy life style. I think of the fact that my son won't only study history but will see it and live it. He'll know people from all walks of life and hopefully have a greater love and understanding of the world and all that it has to offer. It saddens me to think of the missed birthday parties but excites me to think of showing my son remote islands that most people haven't even heard of and those who have can only dream of visiting.

People have asked if I'm ready to go back to the boat. I don't really know if I'm ever really ready but somehow over the past (nearly) 3 years the boat really has become our home and so getting back to it just makes sense and there is something comforting about it. But this time I am a bit uneasy about certain things. I mean this time it's different because we have a little human we are taking with us and that is scarier than any uncharted waters we could encounter. And so in just 2 days Mark and I will continue our adventures at sea but this time with our new addition and a whole lot more joy and nervousness.

For Older posts check out our previous blog at Sailblogs.
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